Bumper Sticker Intervention

Bumper stickers drive me crazy–most of the time they’re crass, ignorant, political, and decidedly un-funny. Consider this post a brutally honest truth talk session with me, Christina.  This is an intervention because your bumper stickers have got to GO!  Scroll down to see all 17 (types) and if I missed out on any, drop me a comment and let me know.  **Let’s keep religion and politics out of this, please.**

1.  DirtyHonk If… Because who doesn’t love a double entendre when you’re stuck in traffic.

honk

2.  Texas: We get it, you’re big, loud, and you carry guns.

texas 1

643-1067-thickbox3.  Unnecessary: I don’t know what this means, but I’m positive that you don’t need a bumper sticker to tell us about this particular hobby.

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4.  “Got Milk” knockoffs: The “Got Milk” ad campaign debuted in the 90’s. Isn’t this an outdated reference?

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5.  Bathroom Humor: We don’t need to know your reason for speeding, you can keep that to yourself.

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6.  Cutesy is Dumb: This cutesy-type rhyme is stupid because if you need a bumper on your car to say you’re classy, sassy, and smarty-assy, I promise you’re none of these things.

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7. NOT FUNNY: When did the potential lethal endangerment of yourself and others become funny?  It’s not.

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8.  It’s true:  It may be the truth, but your boss probably doesn’t need to know why you’re ineffective in the mornings.

no-coffee-no-workee-bumper-sticker

9.  JUST STOP!: It’s time to retire the “Keep Calm…” mantra.  Seriously.  Stop it.

keeo

10. You’re both wrong: Listen, I ‘m happy you’re proud of your family, and I’m sure your kids are super smart and wonderful creatures but why the creepy stick figure people?  On the flipside, your bumper sticker claiming “no one cares” about the stick figure family is equally annoying because you’re far too preoccupied with your dislike for the stick figure bumper sticker.

stick family

nobody

11.  Princess:  Really!?  You’re a princess?  What makes you one?  Is it your narcissistic, spoiled, self-importance that defines you?   If not, you should take down your bumper sticker, because that’s all I’m seeing when this sticker is on your car.

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12.  I’d Rather: Most of us would rather be doing anything but sitting in a car and fighting traffic.

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13.  Crumbling Car:  Maybe it’s time for a new car.

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14.  Pay attention: Stay away from the driver with this bumper sticker.  While they’re not wrong, there’s some potential for road rage behind the wheel.

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15.  Duh: Just stating the obvious.  EVERYONE loves bacon, you’re not special.

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16.  Honor Student:  Congratulations on your Honor Student, but no one else cares.  Neither are we worried about your degenerate child, nor the fact you once had a promising future.

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ecba8b011f56c89c2c06683ac3cecf74 my_kid_beat_up_your_honor_student_bumper_sticker

17. Peeing is funny:  Wait…  it’s not, it’s crass.  I understand you greatly dislike something and I’m glad you have opinions, but I don’t want to see the image of a cartoon kid peeing on {insert entity here}.

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